Five Reasons To Wear Pants To The Beach*

1. Jean Paul Belmondo
2. No one does it
3. Everyone will notice you
4. Girls will think you're European
5. It's more dramatic when you take them off

*Remember, keep them slim, keep them light, and for the love of God, no cargo pants.


When you have nothing better to do.

1. Buy a tux from the Salvation Army.
2. For 48 hours, keep it on, sleep in it, live in it, romance in it.
3. Watch your quality of life improve, then slowly decline again.